Preserving of Women’s Honour

     The nature of life in the Muslim community did not allow a woman to be alone with a strange man, nor a man to be alone with a strange Woman. This was for fear of temptation, since natural drives can overpower the soul of a man or a woman when they are alone with each other, causing them to approach what is forbidden and commit the vice that they had hitherto avoided. The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, warned against this: ‘Beware of being alone with women. By Him in whose hand my soul is, whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is there too’ — or, in another version — ‘Satan comes between them.’ It was also reported from him, may God bless him and grant him peace: ‘Whoever believes in God and the Last Day, let him never be alone with a woman if there is no one or nothing to preserve sanctity between them.’

     The reality of life, however, means that a man will often meet women, and women will often come across men by some necessity. Satan will then play his part between them. He strives to deceive them so that they forget themselves, paves the way for their first encounter, setting out for them the means and excuse to commit the sin. He has them believe that they will be joined in the bonds of marriage in the future, and so the man promises the woman marriage, allures her with happy dreams of home and family and lasting domestic bliss, until she feels comfortable with him and imagines that she is about to enter upon a new life and close to making this sweet dream come true. So she submits herself to him, thereby effecting Satan’s trick before the marriage itself is effected. There are many such instances, and in most cases the man is not serious in his promises to marry the girl. Even if serious, circumstances beyond his control develop and get in the way of that marriage. The result is profligacy in religion, disgrace in society and loss of a girl whose honour might have been saved with a little prudence and foresight. Some Muslim schools of thought address this problem by forcing marriage between the frivolous man and the woman who has been deceived.

     In this age, the young girl has grown up — with no—one watching over her — in the battleground of life, with the fashions of Western city life encouraging her to go out and get to know a man, to live with him, to test his manners and hunt him out as a husband for herself to live with. But she herself is the hunted, the prey of the hunters. In this age, the problems that result from this permissiveness and men and women being alone with each other have multiplied and become too difficult for Western philosophers to solve. Some of them, running away from a solution of these problems in human terms, have tried to explain the problems in animalistic terms: they have resigned themselves to these practices, giving free rein to instinct, making the committing of the sin a harmless thing, and not deeming it a reproachable matter for the female or the male.

     The Muslim world has been afflicted with this disease. In some parts of it the young girl has completely given herself up to Satan, while in others, she is pushed to it violently, as the lamb is driven to the slaughterhouse to the same fate as other lambs.

     Ibadis have examined this problem since the best of centuries, and concluded — uniquely, as far as I know — this: they have prohibited the marriage of persons between whom a sin has been committed. In this rule they were reflecting the spirit of Islam which opposes evil deeds. The mother of the believers, ‘A’ishah, may God be satisfied with her, reported that the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: ‘Any man who has fornicated with a woman and then married her, both of them are adulterers to the Day of Resurrection.’ This judgment, which prohibits marriage of two between Whom there has been an evil act in one way or another, shuts the door to deception for Satan and man, so that no man can approach a woman and tempt and seduce her with the deceitful claim that he will consummate his evil deed With marriage.

     This judgment lights up the way for a woman and allows her to judge between the liars and the truthful ones from among those who approach her. ‘Whoever tries to have sex with her before marriage is a sinful liar and wicked trickster, from whom she has the right to escape and distance herself. As for the man who respects her morals and guards her chastity and preserves her honour in himself, he is the truthful man, who sincerely wants to build the nest of marriage and lead a noble life.

     If this were the point of view and judgment of all the schools of thought of the community, rarely would a girl deviate from the proper way, and she would preserve her purity and chastity, not overstepping the bounds of innocence — except that one who has become shameless and prepared for herself a life of prostitution and promiscuity. For if she knew that she would be prohibited from marrying the man with whom she will sin, and he prohibited from marrying her, since such a marriage is forbidden by religion, then she will think twice before letting herself go, in the knowledge that no one else will be able to marry her. Who would want to marry a Woman with a sullied past?

     Ibadis have tackled the problem of girls being seduced before they fall into that trap. Ponder then, dear reader, this opinion and weigh it in the scales of the noble law, and in the scales of those of wise mind and sound reasoning, If you wish, add to it the important rules laid down by the great imam Malik b. Anas concerning relations, and which have become famous in the law books under the section heading ‘the blocking of excuses’ (sad al-dhara’i’).

Reference:

Ibadism in History, Volume I: The Emergence of the Ibadi School, By Ali Yahya Mu'ammar, pg 78-80.